You Know You've Been in Cameroon Too Long When....

You know you've been in Cameroon too long when....

*you take having the electricity, water, and Internet working at the same time as a sign of the apocalypse
*you find the idea of being able to walk down the street WITHOUT being stared at, whistled at, or harrassed very strange
*you've stopped using helping verbs when you speak
*you no longer notice the rooster crowing outside your room at all hours of the night (or the evangelist proselytizing)
*fufu and eru is your favorite food
*you no longer fear the prospect of malaria
*you think the flashlight accessory on your cell phone is a godsend
*you start saying "I want to piss myself" when you need to pee
*your water bottle serves at least five daily functions (drinking, showering, filling the toilet, storage, doorstop, etc)
*most of your daydreams revolve around eating a piece of meat bigger than your thumb
*your circadian rhythms have adopted 'African Time'
*you can justify your refusal to shower at least ten different ways
*you don't believe that bread comes in more than one type (white)
*you've killed a (named) mouse in your house with a broom and rubber cement
*you point and stare more than the locals when you see a white man
*you start inviting yourself to funerals for the free booze
*there is no longer such a thing as 'matching' or 'clashing'
*you've seen a dead body in the road and walked by it, unfazed
*you've forgotten that a liquid form of milk exists, as does a non-liquid form of peanut butter