Miscellaneous Observations: Part 2

After 3 months in Cameroon, I've got some more observations to share with you all.

-To do any job, the ratio of workers working to workers watching is 1:5.

-For a male between the ages of 8 and 68 a machete is a necessary accessory.

-Almost no one smokes cigarettes and it is considered uncouth to do so.

-Beer is an appropriate beverage at any time and at any occassion.

-There is a hierachy in the materials used to make houses, which reflects wealth. Mud is at the bottom, then tin/corrugated metal, then wood (which becomes gray in urban areas and orange in rural areas), and concrete is at the top.

-Pidgin (the most common language in the SW Province) = Jive + English + French + Jibberish - Helping verbs + Saying 'dey' a lot + Jamaican accent.

-There are no wild dogs, just wild goats, chickens, large rainbow colored lizards, vicious cats, giant ants, cocks that crow at all hours, and bugs and birds that make video game-like sound effects.

-The only setting on a TV or stereo is 'Max Vol'.

-Cameroonian men have zero game when it comes to women because they get all their moves from watching bad U.S. dating shows.

-Barbershops have strange names like: Decent Uncle, Dr. Paolo, Anty Unique, and Snoop.

-More women have facial hair (especially neck beards) than men do.

-Every time you drive down an unpaved road (which is 85% of the time) you have a 50% chance of getting a concussion or spinal cord injury.

-The smaller and more run down the exterior of a house (i.e. the poorer the family) the cleaner the inside of the home and the people.

-Children are given unfortunate names such as Gift (a girl), Precious (a boy), Bright (a girl), Prudencial (girl). We even had Elvis and Stella ran the inn in Mamfe.

-Slang terms: dash=to give or a bribe, chop= to eat or food, snap= take a picture, spoiled=broken.

-Eating a lot of peanuts is considered bad because they will make you break out but all food is cooked with a least a pint of palm oil, which is fine.

-The only time there is relative quiet is when the power is out.

-The standard outfit for women is a big, poofy maternity-like dress because they spend so much of their lives pregnant it doesn't make sense to have two sets of clothes.

-If you need to pee you say "I want to piss myself".

-It is possible to ride on the hood of car, as well as on the trunk.

-Every man and child owns a Cameroon national soccer team jersey, ideally one with the name Eto'o on the back.

-It takes 25 ununiformed men and 50 beers to man a road checkpoint (i.e. a bamboo pole on a string).