Thursday, August 23, 2007

Lessons About Southeast Asia


After a few months here, I've learned a few things about 
  • For women pajama sets are always appropriate attire, no matter what the situation
  • There is no such thing as an "express bus"
  • Thailand is the land of 7-11s, and Cambodia is the land of rubber banded plastic bags
  • No matter how big or small, a bicycle is always your size
  • 90% of people in the world are size 'M'
  • It is far better to be Canadian than American
  • Tanktops are never ever a good look for a middle aged man
  • Rice is the perfect side dish to anything, even rice
  • Mime is the universal language
  • There is no problem that cannot be solved by money
  • "Hey lady you need tuktuk" is the most lascivious statement ever
  • The holier the temple, the more foreigners dressed inappropriately
  • Korea is Spaaarkling (that's their national slogan)
  • Monks are more adventurous than the average person (i.e. riding in the back of a truck, covered in auto parts)
  • Processed meats come in every shape and color imaginable (but everyone will call it chicken), and should be put on everything, even vegetarian pizza
  • Every white guy secretly has an (east) asian fetish
  • Things sold in boutiques are really just things bought in local markets and cleaned
  • Anything and everything can be transported on a motorbike: refrigerator, chest of drawers, TV, girl w/ IV, 1000 baskets, 5 huge ceramic urns, 3 fat Americans
  • Toilet paper can clean anything
  • Plastic bags are the perfect containers for all items
  • No real asian actually finishes all their food-- to not leave something on your plate is to prove yourself uncouth!

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